Emmett: You fall asleep during the West Wing. Elle: Yeah, but have you seen what they're wearing? Elle: Hello, Patriots! I don't think I've been this excited since Gucci became a publicly-traded company. Timothy McGinn: Oh my God, it's capital Barbie. Reena: She's so... shiny. Congresswoman: [looking over her new hairdo] You have the full support of the Sunshine State! Paulette: Yay for Ohio! Paulette: Who's ready to discharge? Elle: Hi everyone! Timothy McGinn: Look, it's Capitol Barbie. Reena: She's so shiny. Paulette: Ooh... the bend and snap! I did that last night naked. I broke a window though. Paulette: You look like the Fourth of July! Makes me want a hot dog real bad! Rep. Rudd: Snaps for Congresswoman Hauser! Emmett: You know what I thought when I first met you? Elle: God, that woman wears a lot of pink? Elle: This is just like CSpan, except I'm not bored. Elle: So speak up, America. Speak up for the home of the brave. Speak up for the land of the free gift with purchase. Speak up, America! Elle: I don't think I've been this excited since Gucci became a publicly traded company! Elle: Oooooh! Nice briefcase! Elle: I didn't know I could be this happy without incurring credit card debt! Elle: Paulette, I taught Bruiser to shop online, I think I can handle congress. Elle: I have always respected redheads as members of a hair color minority. Elle: Ughhh. All day long I felt like white open-toed shoes after Labor Day. Sid: I hate that feeling, whatever that means. Dog Spa receptionist: Your dogs are gay! V.E.R.S.A.C.E. tagline on website: We test makeup on animals, so you don't have to. Lady at Versace: You've got the wrong Versace. Rep. Rudd: Don't worry Bob I'll get her. And her little dog too. Emmett: Elle I don't care where I marry just as long as I do. I do... I do... feels good. Timothy McGinn: Write a bill, Britney. Rep. Rudd: You can't get people to care. Elle: Watch me. Stanford Marks: You're the girl with the perfumed poo-poo bags, aren't you? Elle: Actually I'm the woman with the scented waste receptacles, but yes [Elle first arrives in Washington DC] Sid: Welcome, to the Wellington, ma'am. Elle: It's a thrill to be here.